About Motherhood

Practice and non-attachment

Did you want kids, they ask. I guess I did, I answer, but honestly, I never really got the chance to think about it. One minute I fell in love like never before, and the next, nine months later at 23, I was pregnant. It was the first time in my life I felt real purpose—like, this is what I've come here to do: mothering, caring, loving. At that moment, despite the uncertainty, I felt instinctively sure about my path forward.

There was no guidebook, but here we are. Ayla, my eldest, is almost 21, and Jasper—the baby and ex-yoga-mom photo star—is nearly 15. It’s been a long ride, and it’s still going.

There are patches I don’t remember at all, probably because I was so sleep-deprived, had no family nearby, very little money, and a huge dose of young-mom anxiety (I absolutely couldn't leave my baby for more than two hours!). Looking back, those intense early days seem worlds apart from the challenges of teenage hormones we're navigating now.

People ask me if I liked having kids young. Well, it’s the only truth I know and understand. Back then, I didn't have time to pause or question—it was just survival and love. Now, the thought of having a child feels exhausting, though I can appreciate the benefits that maturity, stability, and clarity would offer, allowing more presence rather than chasing after my own dreams.

I've been a single parent for nearly a decade, yet I'm incredibly lucky to co-parent well with the children's father—someone I genuinely call one of my dearest friends. Raising kids isn't easy, especially on your own, but co-parenting has offered balance and shared strength. The saying "it takes a village" is so true; children truly benefit from having many mentors and role models to support, love, and guide them through all stages of childhood.

My practice and my work have provided a sense of community and support, helping me navigate these parenting years. In return, parenting has profoundly shaped my approach to my practice. My journey on Instagram began with "Yoga Mom" photos—honestly, I lost all popularity once Jasper grew up!

I've been asked, "Should I have kids?" and my answer is always the same: give me ten minutes, and I can either talk you into it or out of it—what do you truly want?

What parenting keeps teaching me over and over again is humility. The work is inside, and the work is about discovering service—to be in service of something greater, in service of the whole. Motherhood has been another road, another Guru directing me, uniting me with Self. Eventually, everything falls away—even the kids; they grow up and leave home. They are yet another real lesson in practice and non-attachment.